Suddenly I'm Mr.Sex

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edens-blog:

wkdart:

iamtonysexual:

andrejpejicjimmyvegafanfic:

onlylolgifs:

 People blown over in streets as Storm Ivar hits Norway

looks fun

makin’ my way dOWNTO—-

ASDFK

MAKIN’ MY WAY UPTOWN

not gonna lie at first I thought these people were really good at the Smooth Criminal lean

step 1. buy several hundred bags of miniature marshmallows 

step 2. somehow get upwind

step 3. open the bags and let the sugary puffs fly free

step 4. enjoy the sight of people getting absolutely pelted with marshmallows 

step 5. ?????????

step 6. profit 

pokemon-global-academy:

Pikachu Bed:

¥ 39,800

a-high-school-seniors-band-blog:

angry-slowpoke:

tattooed-disappointment:

angry-slowpoke:

Guess what I got at the thrift store

is it a number 2? use that shit on every scantronevery time someones like "please take out your number 2 pencil"take it out and scream
“ME HOY MENOY”

This post has over 1,400 notes because of you

Band Director: “Okay everyone, pencil check”

a-high-school-seniors-band-blog:

angry-slowpoke:

tattooed-disappointment:

angry-slowpoke:

Guess what I got at the thrift store

is it a number 2? use that shit on every scantron
every time someones like
"please take out your number 2 pencil"
take it out and scream

ME HOY MENOY”

This post has over 1,400 notes because of you

Band Director: “Okay everyone, pencil check”

foxxxynegrodamus:

my feminism.

(Source: slaypire)

It’s okay to live a life others don’t understand.

- Jenna Woginrich (via dirtyberd)

(Source: tinyhousedarling)

brylow:

how the bi-bros get fit quick

brylow:

how the bi-bros get fit quick

dikubutto:

blackturtleneckcat:

it’s not rude to interrupt someone to point out a dog

It’s actually more polite because then they don’t miss out on a dog

all-they-told-me:

bulllymia:

animentary:

hellomrtoshy:

castleforeverx:

YES.YES.YES. People need to realise this 

Hell Yes! 

I feel like this needs to be shared with a ton of people.

Sorry for the color but i love this.

SO FUCKING IMPORTANT

(Source: ikantenggelem)

hermionemollycharliepond:

just-raowolf:

edenwolfie:

my year 8 students had to do a budgeting activity pretending they were living out of home on $2000 a month and I find this written on there help I can’t fucking breathe

We had to do this and I was partnered with a boy whose parents are a scientist and a doctor. My family spawned the book: Top Drawer Villain - autobiography of a London criminal.
First of all, we had to choose where we would shop. He wanted to buy from Booths. “We are not buying from Booths," I snapped. "Get on Asda’s website right now." His face froze.
“A-Asda?" he whispered. "But that’s where… The Lower Classes shop.”
This was a good start.
We then had to decide on a menu. We started on breakfast. “Toast," he said.
“Toast," I said. "Great. Look, Asda has its own wholemeal—”
“Warburton’s thick-slice white bread. Nothing else. With olive oil.”
“You WHAT?" I choked. "You have olive oil, on your toast, in the morning?”
He frowned. “Who doesn’t?”
“Okay," I said, "but what will the children eat?”
He gaped at me. “The children? We have children?”
We continued. All was well until it came to what we would have on our sandwiches. We even sorted out the children’s lunch - they, of course, would get free school meals. “Yes," he agreed; "if we can’t even afford Bertolli then they can get school meals on the government.”
He asked what dressing we should have on our ham. “Nuh-uh," I said. "Can’t have ham. I’m vegetarian.”
“But I’m not.”
“Yes, but we’re married and we can only afford one sandwich filler so it has to be vege—”
“We’re married!?”
“Of course we’re married! You’re devout Christian - how do you think I convinced you to have children?”
He shook his head, frowning. “Well I want ham. You’ll have to put back the washing powder - I need ham on my sandwiches.”
We continued. Finally, it was dinner. “Okay," he said, clearly thinking hard; "for dinner, we can have… Chicken nuggets and… Beans?”
“Vegetarian.”
“Vegetarian nuggets then. And beans.”
“We need vegetables. The children have to have a balanced diet.”
“You and your children!" he yelled, and the whole class looked around.
“They’re your children too!" I screamed back.
He leapt to his feet, shaking his head and looking distraught. “I don’t believe it - I don’t believe you! I wouldn’t have your children!”
“Please," I cried, standing up also. "Don’t—”
“I want a divorce!”
And he walked out of the classroom.
The teacher stood up and stared between me and the door through which he had vanished. “I’m sorry," I whispered, "but we couldn’t do it any more. There were just too many differences - I can’t live with someone who thinks champagne is a budget.”
I can’t wait to see this guy when he gets to university.

READ THE WHOLE THING

hermionemollycharliepond:

just-raowolf:

edenwolfie:

my year 8 students had to do a budgeting activity pretending they were living out of home on $2000 a month and I find this written on there help I can’t fucking breathe

We had to do this and I was partnered with a boy whose parents are a scientist and a doctor. My family spawned the book: Top Drawer Villain - autobiography of a London criminal.

First of all, we had to choose where we would shop. He wanted to buy from Booths. “We are not buying from Booths," I snapped. "Get on Asda’s website right now." His face froze.

A-Asda?" he whispered. "But that’s where… The Lower Classes shop.

This was a good start.

We then had to decide on a menu. We started on breakfast. “Toast," he said.

Toast," I said. "Great. Look, Asda has its own wholemeal—

Warburton’s thick-slice white bread. Nothing else. With olive oil.

You WHAT?" I choked. "You have olive oil, on your toast, in the morning?

He frowned. “Who doesn’t?

Okay," I said, "but what will the children eat?

He gaped at me. “The children? We have children?

We continued. All was well until it came to what we would have on our sandwiches. We even sorted out the children’s lunch - they, of course, would get free school meals. “Yes," he agreed; "if we can’t even afford Bertolli then they can get school meals on the government.

He asked what dressing we should have on our ham. “Nuh-uh," I said. "Can’t have ham. I’m vegetarian.

But I’m not.

Yes, but we’re married and we can only afford one sandwich filler so it has to be vege—

We’re married!?

Of course we’re married! You’re devout Christian - how do you think I convinced you to have children?

He shook his head, frowning. “Well I want ham. You’ll have to put back the washing powder - I need ham on my sandwiches.

We continued. Finally, it was dinner. “Okay," he said, clearly thinking hard; "for dinner, we can have… Chicken nuggets and… Beans?

Vegetarian.

Vegetarian nuggets then. And beans.

We need vegetables. The children have to have a balanced diet.

You and your children!" he yelled, and the whole class looked around.

They’re your children too!" I screamed back.

He leapt to his feet, shaking his head and looking distraught. “I don’t believe it - I don’t believe you! I wouldn’t have your children!

Please," I cried, standing up also. "Don’t—

I want a divorce!

And he walked out of the classroom.

The teacher stood up and stared between me and the door through which he had vanished. “I’m sorry," I whispered, "but we couldn’t do it any more. There were just too many differences - I can’t live with someone who thinks champagne is a budget.

I can’t wait to see this guy when he gets to university.

READ THE WHOLE THING

MOVIE STAR: BRING ME MY PAIN TWIN

DIRECTOR: do you mean your stunt double

MOVIE STAR: BRING ME MY AGONY SHADOW WHO SUFFERS FOR ME

-

A Movie Star Names Things" - Mallory Ortberg

I actually literally can’t with this.

(via knottahooker)

(Source: tyrannosaurus-trainwreck)

naamahdarling:

urulokid:

facebooksexism:

thebluelip-blondie:

skeptikhaleesi:

brownglucose:

nextyearsgirl:

The absence of women in history is man made.

How petty

just look at babe ruth’s face tho
so confused
so lost
i love it

pure hater shit

Jackie Mitchell…a bad ass lady I had never heard of. 

From her Wikipedia page: “Seventeen-year-old Jackie Mitchell, brought in to pitch in the first inning after the starting pitcher had given up a double and a single, faced Babe Ruth. After taking a ball, Ruth swung and missed at the next two pitches. Mitchell’s fourth pitch to Ruth was a called third strike. Babe Ruth glared and verbally abused the umpire before being led away by his teammates to sit to wait for another batting turn. The crowd roared for Jackie. Babe Ruth was quoted in a Chattanooga newspaper as having said:

"I don’t know what’s going to happen if they begin to let women in baseball. Of course, they will never make good. Why? Because they are too delicate. It would kill them to play ball every day."

Next up was the Iron Horse Lou Gehrig, who swung through the first three pitches to strike out. Jackie Mitchell became famous for striking out two of the greatest baseball players in history.
A few days after Mitchell struck out Ruth and Gehrig, baseball commissioner Kenesaw Mountain Landis voided her contract and declared women unfit to play baseball as the game was “too strenuous.”[5][10] Mitchell continued to play professionally,barnstorming with the House of David, a men’s team famous for their very long hair and long beards.[11] While travelling with the House of David team, she would sometimes wear a fake beard for publicity.”
TL;DR: teenage girl strikes out two of the greatest baseball players ever, teenage girl gets her contract voided, teenage girl plays baseball wearing fake beard

These guys were so fucking injured by a teenage girl’s awesomeness that they literally threw a hissyfit and hung up a sign that said “NO GIRLS.”
They gave up.
They couldn’t handle it.
Losers. 
Teenage girls are amazing.

naamahdarling:

urulokid:

facebooksexism:

thebluelip-blondie:

skeptikhaleesi:

brownglucose:

nextyearsgirl:

The absence of women in history is man made.

How petty

just look at babe ruth’s face tho

so confused

so lost

i love it

pure hater shit

Jackie Mitchell…a bad ass lady I had never heard of. 

From her Wikipedia page: Seventeen-year-old Jackie Mitchell, brought in to pitch in the first inning after the starting pitcher had given up a double and a single, faced Babe Ruth. After taking a ball, Ruth swung and missed at the next two pitches. Mitchell’s fourth pitch to Ruth was a called third strike. Babe Ruth glared and verbally abused the umpire before being led away by his teammates to sit to wait for another batting turn. The crowd roared for Jackie. Babe Ruth was quoted in a Chattanooga newspaper as having said:

"I don’t know what’s going to happen if they begin to let women in baseball. Of course, they will never make good. Why? Because they are too delicate. It would kill them to play ball every day."

Next up was the Iron Horse Lou Gehrig, who swung through the first three pitches to strike out. Jackie Mitchell became famous for striking out two of the greatest baseball players in history.

A few days after Mitchell struck out Ruth and Gehrig, baseball commissioner Kenesaw Mountain Landis voided her contract and declared women unfit to play baseball as the game was “too strenuous.”[5][10] Mitchell continued to play professionally,barnstorming with the House of David, a men’s team famous for their very long hair and long beards.[11] While travelling with the House of David team, she would sometimes wear a fake beard for publicity.”

TL;DR: teenage girl strikes out two of the greatest baseball players ever, teenage girl gets her contract voided, teenage girl plays baseball wearing fake beard

These guys were so fucking injured by a teenage girl’s awesomeness that they literally threw a hissyfit and hung up a sign that said “NO GIRLS.”

They gave up.

They couldn’t handle it.

Losers. 

Teenage girls are amazing.

(Source: nextyearsgirlisaghostnow)

boofreecas:

When we discovered Lilith’s plan for you, we laid siege to hell and we fought our way to get to you.

Happy 5th Anniversary!